Call of Duty 4

If I walk into one more invisible barrier, or empty another clip into another bulletproof office cubicle wall, I just may have to smash the disk with a hammer and jam the polycarbonate shards into the next jerk to tell me what a fantastic game Call of Duty 4 is. I cant stand when some items in the environment are "cover", and some are just for show. Basically, the task is to memorize each firefight, over and over and over, until you come out on top. There's no reacting on the fly, scraping through by the seat of your pants... there's no fun. This game is pretty much just wanking material for war nerd spec ops wannabees.

I can never "get in" to this sort of "delta tango unsub rainbow six tango mango" war sim stuff anyways. Maybe I grew up around too many part-time army guys who figured they were Rambo every tuesday from 6-8PM. The jargon annoys me, and I hate having to carry a "squad" of AI dipsh*ts. Also, they could have rendered some new environments to be "middle east", instead of reusing the "war torn germany" maps from the earlier COD games. I could forgive all this if the game itself was fun.

Between this and BioShock, 360 owners are really showing themselves to be a bunch of low IQ drunks, easily impressed by flashing colors. They should just a random fight sequence from one of the Blade movies on a video loop, and release it as a 360 title. Throw in some quotes about how many pixels it is, and how much resolution it has. This impresses morons, even if they don't really understand it. It would make GOTY.

I hear BioShock is nominated for umpteen zillion awards. Sheesh, what a self masturbatory waste of time video game awards are. Hooray, shooting the same enemy in the same rooms over, and over, and over. Please keep innovating, XBox developers.

For the record, I liked Halo 3 a whole lot. No invisible walls, and plenty of in game variety. I'm pretty sure all the people out there calling it overhyped are the same type of folk for whom anything sufficiently popular must be uncool, the type who constantly need to remind you that they're "totally different" - just like everyone else. Apparently it sucks because they sacrificed about a hundred lines of vertical resolution, in favor of a second framebuffer. I doubt the average gamer knows what double buffering is, let alone the lighting effects it makes possible, but if Halo 3 is running in a slightly lower resolution, surely it is teh suck.